


The Misadventures of Emmalee Sue

by emmadizzle



Category: Hetalia - Fandom, Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: F/M, I was 11, Making fun of my fanfic writing from 5th grade, Mary Sue, Multi, OC, my shitty authors notes are throughout the whole thing, they're meant to be funny but im annoying bare with me, this is bad on purpose please laugh at it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-30
Updated: 2015-12-06
Packaged: 2018-05-04 02:46:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5317562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emmadizzle/pseuds/emmadizzle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I wrote a shitty Hetalia fanfiction full of mary-sue self insert bullshit when I was in 5th grade. Behold it now in it's natural glory.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. and so it begins

AN: I wrote this story back when I was in 5th grade, as soon as I got into Hetalia and before I actually knew character personalities. It was the first fanfiction I had ever written, and looking back at it now it’s a complete joke. So I decided to type it up and post it so you guys can enjoy this Mary-Sue bullshit. Enjoy, hope the quality and my sarcastic comments throughout give you giggles, as typing it up gave me many. no editing used except spelling errors.  
Hetalia: My Heart Belongs to Who?

“Hi, Iggy!” I ran over to my boyfriend.  
“Hey Emm.” He held me in his arms.  
“So, how was the meeting? Did Busby’s Chair work?” Britain’s face made me giggle.  
“Well, it has power, but Russia kept breaking it…” I smiled.  
“That’s what you get for trying to kill your fellow Allies. You need to be a good big brother to America.” A look of longing crossed his face.  
“I-I need to go. Bye, Emmalee.”  
“Uh, bye Britain.” As he walked away I couldn’t help but notice that Britain was acting odd lately. I began walking back to my dorm. I snuck past France’s room. I didn’t want to deal with him at the moment. As soon as I heard the door opening, I took off. (or tried to atleast.) France grabbed my arm.  
“Well hello there, baby! What brings you over here, beautiful?” I groaned. France had an un-dying love for me, and will push all limits to make me his.  
“Nothing, I was just trying to get to my dorm.”  
“Oh, well, I’m sure you will want to stay for dinner?” I was poised to run.  
“No, I’m fine, bye!” I took off.  
“See you later, baby!” He called after me. I turned the corner, and saw Canada walking back and forth in front of my door, his cheeks bright red.  
“Uh, hi Canada!” He turned around,  
“Oh, uh, hi, Emmalee, uh, um, sup?”  
“Not much. Just really, really hungry.”  
“Oh, well, you want to get some frozen yogurt with me?” By this time his face was red as Italy’s hair.  
“Okay, let me just change out of my uniform. I’ll be right back.” I ran into my dorm and grabbed some jeans, black boots, and a cute tee with intricate swirl designs all over it. I popped back out of my room.  
“Ready!” Canada grinned.  
“Let’s go!” I grabbed his hand and smiled. He blushed, and tightened his grip. (AN: wtf happened to Britain??)  
“This’ll be fun!” Hand in hand we walked out of the building, and towards the yogurt place. I went towards the place, but Canada pulled me towards another sidewalk.  
“I wanted you to try this new place I like. If that’s okay, of course.” I grinned.  
“Sounds great! Let’s get going!” Canada smiled back, and we began walking. The sun was just setting, (AN: Of course it was.) and when we came to a stop at a steep hill, it was beautiful.  
“Woah…” We said in unison.  
“Canada… it’s beautiful!” I lay my head on his shoulder. He turned pink, but put his arm around me. We stood for a while, and then he turned to me.  
“You want to run down the slope, don’t you.”  
“Yep. Race you!” I took off.  
“Hey!” He cried teasingly behind me. He caught up, and we fell in the grass, weak with laughter. Once we finally calmed the giggles, we walked to the yogurt shop. He took my hand and we walked in. The shop was colorful and cheerful. There were huge bowls, and lining the walls were millions of flavors to serve yourself! There was even a toppings bar with everything possible. I jogged over to the bowls and picked the biggest one. Canada’s face made me laugh.  
“What?” I said as innocently as I could manage. He laughed and grabbed the same size, and we ran over to the yogurt taps. We try each kind of yogurt, and put tons of toppings on. We laughed even harder when we found out how much they weighed. Canada insisted on paying, so I finally just gave up. We sat down, and just talked about anything and everything. After we finished, we looked at the time.  
“Oh *yawn*, its 10:30!” (AN: who takes like 5 hours to eat yogurt)I yawned again.  
“We should get back to the dorms.” We got up and walked out the door. We walked up the hill hand in hand. We came to the fountain, and sat on the rim. We looked at the stars for a little, then walked inside. We rode the elevator to the third floor where my dorm was. (AN: we also couldn’t come up with any other words start the sentences with.) We now stood in front of my dorm.  
“That was really, really fun, Canada. Thank you so much for taking me!” I then leaned over and kissed his cheek. He turned red again. He then got a daring look in his eyes, and kissed me. Our lips touched for a split second, and then he pulled away.  
“Night, Emmalee.” Then walked off. I blushed. I went into my door, with a pang in my heart as I thought of Iggy.

AN: enough enough spare me god goodbye


	2. this chapter literally has no plot its all filler ALL OF IT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> emmalee sue answers messages on her phone in this thrilling installment

AN: chapter 2 whoopdeedoo  
I walked into my room, flopped on my bed and sighed. I then looked at my phone. 5 messages! I checked them. The first was from my friend Greenland.  
“Emmalee, where are you? It’s 9:00! Surely you’re home! Pick up!” I called her.  
‘“Hello? Oh, hi Emmalee! So, where are you? Were you with Iggy?” I blushed.  
“No, Canada got me some frozen yogurt.”   
“Awwwwe, someone loves you!” I rolled my eyes, but I knew it was true.   
“Oh, shush. I’m checking messages. I’ll see you tomorrow.”  
“Bye.” I hung up the phone and checked the message after Greenland’s. It was from Iggy.  
“Um, hey, uh, sorry we didn’t get to see each other. So uh, call me back if you can, kay?” I dialed his number.   
“Hey Emmalee!”  
“Hey, Britain, what do you need?”   
“I wanted to know if you wanted to come for tea tomorrow morning?” I looked at my calendar. I was free.  
“Okay! See you tomorrow!”   
“Kay. Bye, love!” He hung up. I checked the next one.  
“Hmm, I don’t know this number…” I listened.   
“Hey, Cutie. Um, this is your secret admirer. Call me to see who I am. Bye!” I groaned. Then called the mysterious person back. Ring…Ring…   
“Hello?”  
“Um, hi, this is Emmalee. You gave your number?”   
“Oh, yes, hello cutie. This is Prussia!” Prussia? (AN: I never even got that far in the anime where his character was introduced)  
“Uh, hi Prussia.”  
“Hello, are you free Sunday night?” I checked my calendar.  
“Yeah. Why?” (AN: it is a mystery)   
“Pick you up at 6:30. Later Cutie!”   
“Wha?” I hung up. The nest message was from America. (AN: dun, dun, dun, and another one bites the dust)  
“Yo, dudett, there’s this party, and I was wondering if yo wanted to go? Call me back, kay?” I smiled. Everytime America invited me to a party, it’s wild and AWESOME!! I called back immediately.   
“Hey, dudett! So how ‘bout the party?”   
“Alright, sounds awesome!!”  
“Alrighty, see you tomorrow. I’ll pick you up at 7:30, kay?” (AN: k)  
“Alright, see you!”  
“Later dudett!” This party would be a blast! The last message was from Poland.  
“Why are all these random people calling me?” (AN: you act so surprised that you have friends) I listened to the message.   
“Hey girl! I wanted to ask if you could come ride horses and for brunch? Call back!”  
“Everyone wants a piece of me!” I dialed his number.  
“Hey girl!”   
“Hi, Poland.”   
“So, you good with horse riding and for Sunday brunch?”  
“Sure, Poland. See you!”   
“Sunday, Girl!” After I arranged the calendar with the dates, I looked to my closet to find what I would wear. I picked a pretty sundress for tea with Britain. I sighed, then got into bed. I fell asleep instantly.   
After what felt like only a few minuets, my phone bleeped at me. I jumped out of bed.  
“IGGY!!!” I was hyper, I almost ran out the door in my PJs.  
“Oops, clothing!” I put on the dress and some white heels. I stepped outside. The sun shone brightly through the giant wall windows. I rode the elevator to the 5th floor. I walked around, slightly lost. All the doors looked the same. I went down a hall.   
“Lost, are you?”  
AN: on the next episode of please kill me; Emmalee sue becomes wildly more Mary sue. Shocker.


	3. ur a wizard (country) harry (emmalee sue)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i have nothing to say cover me in a blanket of shame

AN: chapter 3

wake me up inside

/cant wake up/  
“Lost, are you?”   
“Huh?” I turned around.   
“Oh, hello, Mr. Austria! Yeah, I’m lost. Would you happen to know where Britain’s room is?” He kissed my hand.   
“Hello, Miss Emmalee. If you will follow me, I will show you to Mr. Britain’s dorm.”   
“Okay!” We turned a corner, and then he showed me a door.   
“Thank you, sir!” (AN: is he like the dean of this…school?? Place?? Where the fuck do they all live what is this)  
“Really, Miss Emmalee, just call me Austria.” He gave me a warm smile.  
“Okay! See you later, Austria!”  
“Goodbye, Emmalee.” I knocked on Britain’s door. When he saw me, he got a heartwarming smile that I hadn’t seen in too long. He took me into a long hug. When he let me go, he led me into his cozy dorm. We sat down on the warm balcony, drinking tea. After lots of silence, I finally couldn’t take it.  
“Britain, something’s up with you. What’s wrong?” He sighed.   
“China was talking about a powerful new country, and we were all wondering who and where she is. “  
“It’s a she? Well what’s her name?”   
“Many people recognize her as Thailand.” Memories of my brother and Mrs. Hungary ran through my head.   
(AN: this flashback is brought to you by a copious amount of shame)  
I was standing behind a corner, listening.  
“Mrs. Hungary, I need to keep Thailand from discovering he power! She’s too young to use it, yet she could blow up the world with it!” (AN: of course she could) What did they mean I have power?  
“Finland, don’t tell her yet. Just treat her as a normal kid. You can call her…Emmalee. Yes, that’s a pretty name.” (AN: finland & thailand are just nowhere near each other how are they siblings)  
“Okay. But Mrs. Hungary, when should we reveal Tha- Er, Emmalee’s power?” Mrs. Hungary’s soft face replied. (AN: soft face replied)  
“Whenever it seems she can handle it.  
(AN: snap back to reality o there goes gravity)  
“Emmaleeeeee? Hello? Earth to Emmalee?” I snapped back to reality.   
“Oh, uh, hi, Britain…” He looked at me strange.   
“What’s wrong?”   
“I-I figured out who Thailand is.” He looked confused, so I tried a different approach.   
“Thailand is famous for knife throwing, right?” (AN: uh no)  
“Yeah, so?”   
“So hand me a knife!” He handed me the knife we were using to cut butter for the scones. “Uh, here, Emmalee, but-“ I chucked the knife as hard as I could at the door. I heard a ‘thunk’ and a scream. A voice came from behind the door.   
“Why, you, Britain! You could have killed me! Then you would have been charged of murder, and gone to jail, and then I would miss my-“ Britain strode over to the door, and swung it open.  
“Shut your trap, Prussia.” I stood up and followed Britain.  
“So, Britain, any info on the mysterious- Oh, hey, Cutie! Didn’t see you there! So, you have a date to the party tonight?”   
“Well, America’s taking me, but he isn’t really my date.” Prussia brushed a loose strand of hair from my face.   
“So, would you give me the pleasure of being my date, Cutie?” I sighed.  
“Prussia, I can’t just ditch America! But I’ll see you at the party, right?”   
“Definitely! See you there, Cutie! Oh, and Britain, stop throwing things at me, kay?” He walked off, huge grin on his face.” Britain looked at me.  
“Yo-you-yo-y-you’re a country!?!” (AN: yoyoyoyoyoy)  
“I guess so. But you can still call me Emmalee.” Britain pulled me into a kiss.  
“Listen, Emmalee. I need some time to think. I’ll see you later, love.”   
“Did I do something wrong?” (AN: You were talking about your multiple dates with Prussia in front of your boyfriend… ) My eyes felt teary. I didn’t want to have made Britain mad. He put his hands on my shoulders.  
“No, you did nothing wrong, love. I just need time to think, alright?”   
“Kay. See you later.” He kissed my head, and we parted our different ways. 

AN: ok now get out of my house


	4. emmalee sue gets kidnapped but politely

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> if there isn't weirdly probably platonic dry humping whats the point

AN: chapter 4 ‘kay  
He kissed my head, and we went our different ways. I walked to the elevator. I pressed the down button, and waited. The doors opened, and I walked inside. As soon as they were about to close, I saw Poland running at full speed towards the door. (AN: is this the awkward moment where he dry humps me) I pressed open, but Poland didn’t have time to stop. He crashed into me. (AN: yes) We fell in what seemed to be slow motion, and ended with me lying down, and Poland laying comfortably on top of me.   
“Sorry, Emmalee. Are you okay?” Poland asked me, while showing no intentions of getting up.   
“I’m fine. Thanks.”   
“So girly, still going to meet me for brunch?”  
“Yep, I’ll see you tomorrow.” *Ding* (AN: sound effects y)  
“Oh, we’re here already? What a pity. This is cozy.” He awkwardly got himself up.  
“I’ll have to fall on you more often! Later girl!” I sighed. It seemed like I had been sighing a lot lately. I walked towards my dorm.  
“Hey Emmalee, how’d it go with (*insert badly drawn music note*) Britain? (*insert badly drawn heart*)”  
“Fine, New-“ Three people ran out from behind a corner.   
“There she is! Get her!”   
“Huh?” A boy with black hair grabbed me, and tried to get me to stay still. A man with blonde hair turned to New Zealand.   
“Shoo, New Zealand, your work is done.”  
“Okay boss!” She ran off, clearly happy with herself. I was still struggling with the boy, and finally succeeded in knocking him out. (AN: emmalee sue can fend for herself too? what a keeper) He slumped against a wall, unconscious.   
“Get her feet, Italy!” The boy with red hair, I recognized.   
“Italy! What are you doing?” (AN: your mom, he replied.) He was about to reply, but the man cut him off.   
“We’ll tell you later. You need to come with us, Thailand.” The man grabbed my hands, and Italy grabbed my feet.   
“Hey! Put me down! Where are you taking me?!?” They carried me to the elevator. They carried me, then Italy set my feet down. He turned to the man holding my wrists in a death grip.  
“Germany, you can let go now!” He finally let go, leaving my wrists red and sore. We rode to the seventh floor, where the conference rooms were. The elevator dinged. They grabbed me again. They dragged me into a conference room. They sat me in a rolling chair. Germany walked over and blocked the door. Italy sat next to me and grabbed my hand.  
“Don’t be scared, Emmalee, we mean no harm!” Knock knock. (AN: see also: ‘someone knocked at the door”) Germany opened the door, telling Italy to make sure I didn’t make a run for it. In walked Greenland and New Zealand, chattering about rumors they had heard.   
“Hi Italy!”  
“Hi Guys!” I just scowled, and sunk further into my seat. Italy smiled sympathetically at me.  
“Really, we just need to talk to you. We mean no harm.” He said reassuringly. I squeezed his hand. Everyone sat in chairs on the long table. Germany began speaking as if I wasn’t there.   
“Thailand, or Emmalee, is very powerful. We could use that kind of power. We need her as an alliance for the Axis Powers.”

AN: theres no such thing as mistakes just happy accidents


End file.
